High proficiency in MATLAB (a matrix oriented mathematical programming language), with extensive experience using MATLAB to analyze historical financial data in the equities, foreign exchange, and fixed income markets required.

Yeah, yeah. This one does get better, though:

Knowledge of the geometric interpretation of correlation and volatility required.

Ability to explain concepts in modern portfolio theory using Euclidean geometry and barrycentric coordinates required.

Linear programming isn’t quite that exciting, kids.